Hey, it's me. I can't answer my phone because I'm busy screening my calls. If this is about the money, please contact Emergency Contact. I can't be trusted with that kind of thing in my current state of mania. For everything else, please leave your name, number, and reason for calling at the tone and I will call you right back quickly as possible. BEEP!
RECORD MY VOICEMAIL GREETING!
Rise and shine, my little pussycat! It's time to greet the day and and welcome in all the wonder it has to offer you. There's a nice cup of coffee waiting for you and your favorite breakfast: a mcgriddle. Remember: you are good enough, you are smart enough, and goddammit, people like you. Now get your ass out of bed!
WAKE MY ASS UP IN THE MORNING!
Hey y'all! Welcome to my virtual series, Cooking in Quarantine. I love coming online every night to share my talents with the world and help you improve your lives. Tonight you're in for a real treat: my special guest is Barry! Keep those tips coming - we're donating them all to charity. And don't forget to use the hashtag: #Lasagna and smash that subscribe button!